This series was made during the last year of my mothers' life before her transition. Fear, anxiety and hope kept me moving forward as I photographed my movements throughout the days and nights.
For about 2 years my family had been dealing with my mother in end-stage renal disease. Countless hours, days, and nights were consumed with hospital stays, 100-day and 60-day nursing care rehab stays, appointments, procedures, medical forms, phone calls, waiting on hold, discussions, sleepless nights, worry, and caring for mom, etc.; all this while juggling full-time jobs. Consequently, any planned projects, vacations, and or adventures, for me, had been put aside.
My main focus was Mom and her comfort.
It was a roller coaster ride of hope and despair; filled with dark days, wakeful nights, fast-moving time, sleepwalking, forever waiting, stressful blurry loss of memory, emotional fragmented confusion, joyful remembrances, unsteady anxiety, doubtful panic, glimmers of hope, fearful pretending, never truly being calm, going through the motions, long minutes, short hours, encouraging emotional conversations, silent voids, desperate wondering, wishing, wandering, loving, holding on and letting go.